Thursday, April 17, 2008

Top 10 Ways To Look Like A Total Douchebag Idiot

1 - Backwards Baseball Hat
Do you play catcher for a major league ball club? Minor league? Local softball team? No? Then don't do this.

2 - Oakley Blades
Your Tour de France riding days are over, pal

3 - Bluetooth Headset
1. Trust us, you're not that important.2. You're now just one-degree removed from Lando Calrissian's bald android assistant.

4 - Gold Necklace
Rap moguls, NBA stars, and Mr. T excluded. Some white guy from the 'burbs, nuh uh.

5 - Tommy Bahama Shirt
When in Hawaii, this is OK. In the upper 49, toolbag.

6 - National Review Magazine
In close association with bad style, bad politics

7 - Belt-Clipped Cell Phone
Scream "I am a middle manager!" a little louder. The guy across the street didn't hear you.

8 - "Cause" Wristband
Exceptions made if you or immediate family member is battling various wristband maladies. Otherwise, grab a scissors.

9 - Over-The-Knee, Double-Pleated Shorts
Two things wrong here:1. 4 pleats.2. Over the knee.

10 - Crocs
The Zubaz of the '00s. Here's a good rule to live by: Never wear the same shoes as your 5-year-old nephew.

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